Sendin’ Out Good Vibrations

It always surprises me how quickly, how easily – how smoothly – a perfectly okay conversation or train of thought will, just like that, morph into a full-on gossipy rant.

You know the thing: pointing the finger at what someone else is doing wrong; or precisely and with great clarity of analysis detailing how another person (or sometimes myself) has erred, how they’ve slipped up, made mistakes they could have or in ‘my opinion’ should have avoided.

How easy it seems to happen that I will suddenly find myself very eagerly ranting about the sawdust in the eye of another, while breezily ignoring the huge plank in my own eye. The errors in someone else’s way are so often clear to me, while my own not so terrific ways are completely ignored.

And the weird thing is, how it sneaks up on you. I mean on me. As I said at the start, one minute I’m having a pleasant and reasonable conversation, the next minute I’m ranting about him, or her, or them, or who or whatever.

Such an error in my own ways, occured this morning as I fell into what felt like a perfectly rational pointing the finger session, full of criticisms and judgements about someone I actually quite admire.

That is until one of the hermits with just one comment, brought the whole thing to a sudden and definite stop:

‘We should be sitting here sending out good vibes. That’s our job.’

A perfectly timed cause for a pause for thought. And absolutely correct – as hermits, as monks committed to the welfare of all beings, it’s more than our job; our lives are dedicated supposedly to love, prayer, service, contemplation on the Divine in all things and how we can best serve that Divine.

Human nature is a tricky topic to think about though. So much of what we do in the world is driven by our desires for more things, for status, for happiness, or pleasure. Eating, sleeping, mating, and defending, I have heard it called by way of summary.

Hermits behind walls are still flawed human beings

I’ve supposedly withdrawn from all that, left it behind ‘in the world’. I live a secluded, quiet, and contemplative life precisely in order to counter those very attributes of human nature.

I suppose all this says is, I am still a human being with all the flaws, all the desires – and aversions – that come with being that kind of, well, being.

Yes, all true. Maybe. But, isn’t it possible that I might use just a bit more discipline? Could I be perhaps a little more clear in my focus?

Perhaps I could ‘sit here’ and send out good vibes. At the very least I could pay a bit more attention to those times when I’m about to slide – or have already slid – into my ‘putting out  bad vibes’ mode.

We can’t really ever know what’s going on in the lives of other people, or in their minds and hearts. In any case, it is rarely, if ever, our business to even want to know or make guesses or assumptions about others’ lives.

As a hermit monk, as a pilgrim on the spiritual path I aspire to walk, my only business is the making of ripples (I know it’s a cliché but it works for me, just as so many do), the distribution of waves, or vibrations of replenishment, of love, and kindness, of good things, out beyond myself.

Good vibes to all living beings who I am pledged to serve, to the Divine that is in, and in fact is, all beings, including me, you and all there is.

Who Brings the Bins in?

Wheelie Bins Waiting in the Burbs

Do they really? Who needs to be more kind? How would I know? I mean, I could say, but I won’t – I can’t. It’s not my place, or my right to judge what someone else needs to do or not do. I find it hard enough to look at my own behaviours and to tell myself what I need to do or stop doing. Actually, I sense a question coming on, but I think we’ll leave it for another day.

Anyway, let me share with you an act of kindness of which the Hermitage community was this morning on the receiving end of.

On looking out the front door we discovered that our bins had been brought in. Monday morning is the weekly garbage collection time in our neighbourhood, which means later day Mondays are the times for the bringing the bins in ritual.

But today, no ritual for us: our bins were brought in by … well we don’t know who. It might have been a neighbour, or it might have been a random passerby.

In any case, whoever performed this not so small act of kindness lifted the spirits of our community members. In other words, it made us feel good.

So, perhaps I can’t judge whether or not other humans need to be more kind, but I can tell you how it feels to be on the receiving end of such kindnesses: nice.

And grateful.

The Q&A in the Scripture Part 3

Welcome to another installment in our occasional series (see links to all previous installments at the end of this post) looking at some of the answers given by Krishna to his cousin Uddhava during a kind of Q&A session that takes place as both are about to leave their hometown which is on the brink of war. Krishna’s returning to Heaven, while Uddhava is heading for parts – and a future – unknown.

Hence all the questions around living a good true life, all driven by the knowledge that Krishna isn’t going to be around anymore to give Uddhava life advice.

And the question we’re discussing today is certainly a big one. In fact, though it is a single part of a three part question, I felt inclined to give it our full attention. To me it is that significant. In fact, thinking about it now, I could even add here that of all the questions and answers, this one could stand alone as the  question, the  answer.

To the question then, as asked by Uddhava to Krishna:

What is Charity?

Well, although I thought I knew what the word charity meant, and what charity is, I did end up looking it up, just to get a clearer and deeper picture.

Yes, a charity is an organization set up to give aid to those in need. And, as I also knew, charity is the voluntary giving of help – often in the form of money or other material goods – to those in need.

All just as I’d thought. But, then, I came across another entry that filled out the picture for me a little more. In addition to the above, this listing told me that the ‘true meaning‘ of charity is generosity and helpfulness.

Again, it specifies that this generosity, this helpfullness, is usually extended to the ‘suffering and needy’. Still it suggests that charity may be at least a little more universal an attitude toward functioning in the world, a world shared with so many other living beings.

(note from me: This latter definition comes from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.  I’ve used this dictionary a great deal, and for very many years. It’s been my favourite go to, as they say.

PRESS THE PAUSE BUTTON PLEASE

Right, yes, I hear you loud and clear. Here I am going on as if this is a semantics blog. Sorry about that. Perhaps we should get back on track and allow Krishna to give the answer Uddhava and the rest of us have been waiting for:

Charity is the renunciation of aggression.

Perhaps you can see why I was at first a bit taken by surprise, and I puzzled over it for a while. Then after seeing that Merriam-Webster definition, I knew I’d found a clue: generosity and helpfullness.

Then it came to me: Ahimsa!! No, this is not some obscure exclamation reserved for Eureka! moments. Rather Ahimsa is a foundational principle underpinning many of the great religious traditions of India.

For me, Ahimsa is basically doing no harm, the practice of non-violence towards all living beings, through one’s thoughts, words (speech), attitudes, actions.

However because life is complicated (ie: there are no easy answers), various schools of thought over time have developed a kind of modification in which they say that Ahimsa is choosing to tackle the complexities of our lives in the world in such a way that we do as little harm as possible.

But how, one might ask, can we expand those dictionary definitions to include Ahimsa? Well, as far as I’ve been able to think about it so far, I’d say that Krishna’s answer itself is the root that we can graft those definitions onto

Which is to say, renouncing aggression is that root, that foundation on which to base the cultivation of charity and a charitable attitude and manner in our relationship with ourselves, with all other beings, and with the planet (and the rest of the Universe too of course).

(By the way, thank you to my Partner Hermit for that word: charitable. Not that I didn’t already know the word, obviously, it’s just that at the time I just could not find it anywhere in my slow-moving brain!)

That open, generous, helpful, compassionate, patient, kind, thoughtful (oh let me count the applicable words!), that charitable demeanour and behaviours with which we engage with the world (and with ourselves) are the result of removing aggression from our thoughts, words, and deeds.

Actually, thinking about cause and effect, and effect and cause, for a second: the way towards that state of charity is the same. In other words the means and the end don’t only justify each other, they are each other. One thing.

Don’t be ready for fight or flight each time you communicate with your boss, or your spouse, or your child, or your parent. Or with anyone else in any situation you find yourself in.

Listen to and observe with patience, care, compassion, and your full attention, the needs of others. Don’t assume you know best. And include yourself in this paying attention.

Look before you leap. Stop, listen, think, pause, before jumping into any situation that needs understanding, calm, quiet and time to alleviate any possible confusions, or misunderstandings.

If you make a mistake (or is it when?), don’t be so hard (aggression?) on yourself. Be just as open, friendly, forgiving, patient and the rest, with you as you would like to be with everyone else.

As to ‘generosity and helpfullness to the needy and suffering’? Well, all living beings suffer simply in the act of living itself. We are all well aware of this. The degree and forms of this suffering (and the needs that cause the suffering) will always vary, but even so, they are inevitable.

There’s a small mantra or prayer, I often use to end other prayers or reading, that I’ve always liked a lot:

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti

I have always thought that this was simply a prayer to the Divine that included the repetition of the word for peace three times.

Of course it is that, but recently I heard that it’s structured in this way with the three repetitions to make of it a deeper or more universal prayer:

Shanti: Peace within myself
Shanti: Peace to all living beings
Shanti: Peace to the world itself

I may have the words slightly off, but the essence is there. Anyway, for me this really does sound like Charity.

If you’ve missed earlier posts in this series please click on the links below

New Series Coming Soon: An Introduction

The Q&A in the Scripture: Part 1

The Q&A in the Scripture Part 2

The Time is Always Right for Niceness

Scrawled in the margin of a page in my notebook are two words: Be nice. Nothing else on the page to suggest a context, source, or inspiration. But, here’s the interesting thing: Just below those two lonely words, and in brackets, I’ve written:

Do nice, Consume nice, Share Nice.

Most likely we’ll never know what prompted me to write that particular series of words. I mean, they’re not exactly new ideas are they? Still, discovering (or is it rediscovering) them today, I thought that, while not original, they do present us with a neat little package of behaviours, attitudes and actions; a perspective or way of looking at things that might just help us (or I should say me) along the road to spiritual growth, for being better, doing better; oops! You get the idea.

Be nice. All of us long to be nice to others, to family, friends, work colleagues, strangers, the world as a whole. Some of us would even feel better if we could only be nice to ourselves now and again.

Speak softly, go slowly in my interactions with others – loved ones or strangers, it doesn’t matter. While we all wish for others to be nice to us, we are all very aware that life doesn’t always work that way. But at the very least if we can be nice in every situation, then it’s better for everyone.

So, when slighted by another, spoken to with a loud or aggressive voice, or in some other way treated ‘not so nicely’, pause. Breathe. Then with confidence in yourself and what you have to say or do, be nice to that other.

Smile (when you can and it’s appropriate), be calm, assertive, but stay nice.

As to being nice to Self. Well, I’m trying to give up the negative self talk, and the self critical thoughts, as well as not so nice thoughts about other people or situations. Being nice to others is also an act of niceness to ourselves. We feel good when we’re nice to others (and bad when we’re not so nice to others).

Meantime is so Yesterday. Make it Nicetime today!

Do nice

The verb do suggests doing; taking action. Do nice things for others – and for Self also. Sometimes it’s easy to do nice things for others, sometimes not so easy. Still, as with everything, it is the efforts we make that are the key: remember, nice makes nice.

Anyway, we’re all familiar with the brilliant (genius really) Random Acts of Kindness concept and movement. It’s a truly revolutionary idea that’s rightly spread far and wide and has become an integral aspcet of everyday life for many many people. Really any act of kindness, random or otherwise, is another way to describe doing nice.

And, once again, we shouldn’t forget about ourselves. Doing nice things for ourselves lifts our spirits, changes moods, enriches our lives overall. Don’t forget that doing nice things for others is just one more way we can do something nice for ourselves.

Consume nice. What am I putting into my body? What am I looking at, listening to, reading, buying – what am I consuming? How much of this consumption can I label as nice? How much of it is of benefit to myself or to any or all other beings, or to Earth herself?

And, the flip side of that question: Of all that I consume, how much is doing harm, again to myself, other beings, the planet itself?

Heaps, if you’re anything like me. I am engaged in constant struggle to change my habits of consumption. As I make these efforts, fight these battles with old old habits (I think I talked about this in a recent post?), I remind myself to be kind to myself when I fail to make forward steps – and just as or more often when I take a step (or two, or…)backwards.

Share nice. This one’s easy: reread all of the above. Well, okay, maybe there’s a little more to it than that. Actually, isn’t there an old aphorism that we’re all supposed to have heard in kindergarten? ‘Share nicely‘? I guess back then it was about sharing toys and other playthings with the other kids.

Now we are all grown ups, it means, well much the same really. If you have been blessed with material prosperity, be free with the way you share that good fortune.  Be free and generous with how, and with whom, you share that wealth with.

Equally, no it’s not equally at all; it’s way more important and significant. Share your time; share your skills; share your knowledge; share your experience. The best thing of all to share – the nicest thing – is your love.

Love works well, not only with those close to us, those we call loved ones. Love can be shared in all our interactions with the world, whether it’s family, friends, work colleagues, or with strangers we encounter as we go about our day-to-day lives.

Share nicely of course isn’t only about what you share; it’s also about how we share. Share with a nice attitude. We’re right back where we started, be nice. Approach all with an attitude of love, generosity, and kindness.

So, how does all this nice stuff contribute to our spiritual growth?

The Greatest Hashtag of Them All

Well, I think as we’ve just seen, nice equals love. I feel that having nice – love – as the foundation of our being, doing, consuming and sharing, helps us move forward on the path to the realisation that happiness does not come from outside of ourselves – and certainly not from material things like money, possessions, and the like.

Nice can really only start with me – with you. From within my own Self, which in truth is non-different than your own Self.

There is a beautiful – truly beautiful – expression that has become an empty, flavourless, hollow, meaningless platitude. I’d like to rehabilitate that expression right now.

I want to say with my heart and my love, to all of you:

Have a nice day

and