Tag Archives: spiritual journey

Breathing Free & Easy Through My Life: I Wish

Posted on by
Reply

There’s this funny little thing I do; it’s an odd little habit. On the face of it, at first glance, it’s not really anything to bother about. Just another little quirk that could easily be dismissed to add to my long list of such quirks.

Don’t laugh. I’ve had this habit for I have no idea how long, and I’ve been wanting for ages now to stop and think about it: why I do it? Can I stop it? You know the thing. Well, I’ve taken steps to try to change it, but still, I think it’s time to look at it properly.

You see, I am prone to holding my breath. Just to illustrate: as I held my pen poised about to write that last sentence: I held my breath. What directly prompted this renewed resolve to finaly get down to facing the facts, is that just a little earlier I’d made a cup of tea, and when I went to put it down on the table? Yes, I held my breath.

I’m likely to hold my breath (for a short moment) at any old time: Bend down to pick up a dropped pen? Hold the breath. Raise a forkful of food to my mouth? Hold my breath. Do one or any of my regular physical exercises? I have to really watch myself, otherwise I’d not breathe at all doing them.

All the time, and at any time, as I said. Why? Well, that’s the question isn’t it? I can kind of understand it as a pause, a way to summon up focus and physical energy before doing a task requiring much physical (or mental?) effort.

But that’s just a guess really. As you probably could imagine, I’ve never discussed breath holding issues with anyone else. Well, present company excepted.

Anyway, my guess doesn’t really tally with the lightweight activities, like my pen poising before a new sentence, or my breath suspending before taking a bite of food. Something else is at play here.

So, what is air? What is it good for exactly? Well, umm, it’s a gaseous combination of a whole heap of ‘stuff’, the key one for us here is oxygen. And, more or less obviously we mammals and other beings too, need oxygen to breathe – to keep breathing. In other words it’s the ideal means of staying alive.

I guess that’s why some traditions call air, not only an element, but a sacred element. Life giving, life sustaining – some call it the Life Force, or Prana. Of course these two terms encompass other elements and concepts, but air is pretty much a fundamental component of the whole eqaution.

Next question: If I know it to be the life force, that which keeps me alive, why would I choose to suspend breathing? No, after pausing here (and holding my breath briefly), I’ve concluded that I very much doubt that I’m trying through this little habit to curtail the flow of the Life Force, or Prana through my body.

So, specifically, what does air do in the body? Well, it fills the lungs, which then somehow get the oxygen into the bloodstream (the heart’s job?), which in turn carries that oxygen to the brain, other organs, and to the muscles. I hope you will forgive my over-reliance on such complex technical jargon.

Once again, I can’t see how holding my breath as I poise my pen, is intended to deprive my arm muscles – and my brain – of the fuel needed to help the pen do its work of putting words on paper.

Anxiety? Well, finally we might be getting somewhere at last. When we get a fright, or fear something, or watch scary stuff in a movie, we will often ‘hold our breath in suspense’.

Maybe that’s where the breath holding habit began for me. Not watching movies, but perhaps when confronted with anxiety making situations. Of course picking up a pen is hardly a cause for anxiety, though eating might be?

Well, maybe those ‘little things’ are where the habit became a habit, but now I’m starting to think this breath holding might be a habit without a cause.

At least no consistent cause or causes. Anyway, there’s no point to  dredging the past to try to find out the why of the thing. What’s important  and the only thing we can impact on is now; best to pay attention to here and now;

So, I suppose the conclusion is simple: Sometimes a quirky little habit is just that, a quirky little habit.

PS A habit to be done away with mind you. Time for some little reconditioning of myself. I’d prefer not to hold my breath while writing notes, while eating, or while doing my exercises – or when doing anything else for that matter. The brain, the digestion, the muscles – this entire being – needs oxygen, and it’s my job to make sure that it flows freely and easily to everywhere it’s needed.

No Internet Reception? Is It a coincidence?

Posted on by
Reply

My last post spoke of the need for spiritual seekers to have association with devotees, fellow travellers on a spiritual path. I extolled the virtues for hermits living more secluded lives with the little physical contact, such as me, of accessing the Internet to find stories of past and present spiritual seekers, as a means to satisfy that need for association.

Watching videos, reading books and articles online, exploring websites managed by individuals or groups, all present opportunities for association.

I pointed out how all these activities are blessing in that they help instill a sense of connection and belonging, how they confirm the reality that I am not alone. Encouraging and inspiring, I said it was – and it is.

However, I did neglect to point out that there are hazards, pitfalls, slippery slopes, triggers for depression, anger, sadness. For me, spending time ‘online’ should come with an ‘enter at your own risk’ warning.

This is especially the case when spending time on the video watching apps, where you can watch unlimited videos on an unlimited range of topics.

Call it temptation; call it the magnetism of old attachments and conditioning; call it what I like: the reality is that, after too much time watching videos online, I will often start to drift, just for a ‘quick look’, just a short spell of lookin but ‘just a bit’. Not forgetting the sad resolve to only look at ‘stuff that’s good for me’.

A sad resolve I said because so often what I ‘have a quick look’ at is news, movie clips; anything that tugs at my old ways and habits, anything that pushes old buttons and triggers my old depressive and decidedly non-peaceful, melancholic self.

It doesn’t happen that often, not anymore. But when it does, I have a sense of sinking back into the mire of worldliness as it’s called. I feel the falling into the aforementioned pit. Even stuff I have strong aversions to, such as certain political leaders, reach out to grab me when such moments arise.

Anyway, such a slide down the slippery slope has been threatening the last couple of days. So, tonight I decided: no videos or other web stuff. Time for a break; time to clear my mind and relax.

The only online thing I thought I’d do is post some photos on a photo sharing site I belong to. Watching videos and other web stuff, causes me to neglect important things, like sharing my photos, sitting quietly, reading; all the good things. Time to settle. Time to catch up.

So, all set up to begin sharing, all that was missing was an Internet connection. I tried rebooting devices; all the usual remedies. Still no connection. Twenty minutes later I finally got it: the Universe wasn’t going to allow me anywhere  near the Internet.

Interesting timing, I thought. I decide no Internet (sort of) but the Universe has other ideas: Absolutely no Internet.

Of course Internet dropping out is hardly a unique event. It’s not as if it’s even a rare or occasional occurance.
Still, the last few days, the connection has been excellent. Then, tonight, nothing. Could be a coincidence? But then I don’t believe in coincidences.

Whatever. Now I am happily writing a blog post to share with you, then I’m going to actually make some pictures – been neglecting that too. Then, after that I’m going to get back to a partly read but excellent book I’ve lost touch with. Time to reengage.

Meanwhile, I will choose to think that the Universe is unfolding exactly as it’s meant to.

No Internet? No problem.

Lookin’ For Love in All the Right Places

Posted on by
Reply

It’s often advised by spiritual teachers and leaders, by Gurus, and other religious people, that a vital factor in the success of any spiritual endeavour or quest, is that the seeker or devotee is able to share the association of other, fellow devotees.

It is important, they say, that the seeker keep company with fellow travellers on the same or similar paths.

So, how does that work for a hermit? How does the seeker committed to living a secluded life, separated physically from others, find this association with those like himself pursuing a spirituality oriented life, a life of devotion, prayer, contemplation, and service?

Well, this hermit can’t speak for hermits generally; he can only tell you how it is from his personal perspective. So, how do I manage to obtain association with fellow travellers on my path to the Divine?

Firstly, I am blessed to share my hermitage and my life with my partner hermit, as I have done for virtually the whole of my adult life.

And my partner is very much a fellow traveller on the path of commitment to the hermit life, to a life of prayer, devotion, service, and contemplation.

This makes me think of something purportedly said by the Lord Jesus:

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them

Matt 18:20

In other words, when the two hermits are gathered in the name of the Divine, which is really all the time, then there is the Divine.

Of course, everything, all beings, all things, are the Divine. And, as if in confirmation of just that idea, something interesting happened. Out of curiosity, without any deeper thinking than that, I looked up Chapter 18 Verse 20 in my Bhagavad Gita. It was just for fun, but I ended up getting a nice surprise:

The knowledge by which the undivided supreme being is seen in all entities, though it is divided into numerous forms, is situated in the mode of goodness.

Bhagavad Gita 18:20

Supreme being, universal consciousness, the Christ, God, the Divine. Many names, one essence.

Even so, at times we feel alone, sometimes lonely.And isolated from others on the path of the Divine. So, what do I do to have this association with other devotees, with fellow travellers?

I make enquiries into the lives – both historical and contemporary – of others who have followed or are following a genuinely spiritual path and life. I watch online videos, I read books, as well as I subscribe to a few online newsletters which I discover by investigating websites I’m led to in some way. All these provide so much opportunity for association, for connection, and for learning.

Such explorations, are at the very least, informative: I can see – or read – for myself the evidence that I am not alone and never have been, in my commitment to the Divine and a spiritual life.

They are inspiring and encouraging: I’m not alone! I can do it! And often I get ideas, clues, on how I might deepen my practice, improve my service, love more.

I love the hermit life

In a sense such stories – in visual or in word form – ‘keep me company’. As I said a couple of times already (sorry!) I’m not alone. And I can smile, perhaps nod my head in agreement (or shake it in disagreement) with a comment or observation from one of my fellow devotees on the screen, or on the page. I guess in a way, it gives me a sense of belonging or connection.

Some might say that encountering people or experience via a video or book, is vicarious at best. But I wonder about that actually: Remember my fondness for the Ripple Effect? For my strong feeling for sending out good vibrations?

And, what did Jesus say about when two or three gather? He never mentioned that it was necessary for those two or three to be sharing the same physical space.

Life’s lonely; we all know that, and to encounter like-minded, or like-hearted people sharing a similar path to mine, is more than a prayer answered. It’s a life affirming, love affirming, blessing.

You Can’t Try to Go With the Flow

Posted on by
Reply

Every writer, every painter, every person who makes things – and that includes all of us human beings – will sometimes get the feeling that they are never going to have another idea, or the inspiration, the creative spark or energy, to create anything ever again. Not ever again.

Certainly  that – what could we call it: crisis of confidence? Moment of fear? A feeling of inadequacy? The seeming loss of the desire to create? We could probably keep going with this, but let’s not.

Where was I? Yes. Certainly that, whatever we call it, comes over me really quite often when it comes to the writing of this blog. It’s become a standing joke in the hermitage: Whenever I’m asked if I have another post coming on, my most usual response goes something like:

‘No, and I don’t think I’ll ever write another post. The ideas are all gone. It’ over.

(As I reached for this notebook just now, I was asked that question and ironically I was able to answer with confidence and certainty, ‘Yes I do’.)

As I said, it’s a standing joke because, well, something always reveals itself to me, eventually. An idea, an inspiration, an insight is presented. Something I sense is worthy of sharing, always comes to me.

Having said that, there are times when I really do have that horrible sense that it’s finished, that I will never ever again receive an idea for another blog post.

But, here’s the great thing: Having become a standing joke, this perceived loss of ideas, insights, inspiration, the joke serves its purpose: It makes me smile, it treats the whole thing with some humour.

In other words, I’m not allowed to just get away with feeling sorry for myself. It cheers me up. It props me up a little, and gets a little part of my mind opening up to something new or fresh to write about.

There have been times during the journey of this blog when I have strayed from my intention for this blog. As it says beneath the blog title on the top of the page, this blog is meant to be:

musings on one hermit’s life and world

In the past, I’ve sometimes solved this ‘no ideas’ problem by writing about a topic from something I’ve read, teachings I’ve studied, or some other things not directly about me or my personal experience.

Lately (for some time now) I’ve resisted this ‘easy way out’, and tried more attentively to stick to the intention stated in my sub-heading – write about me and my experience.

Okay, it’s in fact not trying that’s the point, both with me writing this blog, and also with every other aspect of how I try (sorry, not try) to live my life.

Wu Wei it’s called, the path of least resistance. Certainly wracking my brain to come up with post ideas, and straying from intentions just so I can have a post, sets up much resistance on many levels.

You can’t ‘force’ musings, can you? If you muse you muse, if you don’t muse you don’t muse. It’s about letting it flow, or if it’s not flowing, let it be.

And here’s the interesting thing: it – the flow of ideas, insights, musings, whatever – flows at its own pace anyway regardless of my interference, angst, worry, or my forcing things to go this way or that.

My lesson for today – for my life too I pray:

Go with the flow

Story of a Misadventure & An Apology

Posted on by
Reply

Today I’d like to share with you a short cautionary tale. It’s a true story, relating events that took place very recently.

There was a blogger, a serious student on the spiritual path; a monk whose mission in publishing his blog was – is – to share that path with others, to share the lessons he’s learned/learning. He sees it as one important aspect of his ‘doing God’s work’, reaching out to others of like heart and like mind.

Anyway, this blogger, he suddenly felt an intuition: he thought, I’ll set up an account on (insert here very popular platform) social media. That’s how to promote my blog he thought, and attract more readers.

So, dutifully, he set up an account and began posting. One or two poems, a couple of photos with commentary, that sort of thing. The plan was, post whatever seemed might be enlightening, whenever the feeling was there.

The blogger felt that this was a sort of ‘next step’. He thought that bringing more readers to his blog would help him with his quest to love more, and to share love.

But. Something wasn’t quite right. Sure, he, the blogger was excited by this new venture, this expansion of his service to the Divine and to the world. But he felt – literally and physically – a bit sick. A kind of nervousness gnawed at his guts; he just felt yuck.

‘I can’t do this,’ he thought to himself. ‘It’s not right’

So, there and then he resolved to delete the account, to close that chapter forever, and bring his focus back more fully to his blog. That’s where, he realised, was where God’s work could be done, as well as where his own passions lay.

But, the resolve, didn’t last long. He just had to act immediately. So, again right there and then, he deleted the account.

Instantly, a wave of relief swept over our blogger friend. He felt free, back on track. He now felt less burdened by a burden he’s made for himself, a burden that there really was no need to be carrying.

Okay, I confess: the blogger of whom we speak is in fact me. I know, you guessed that already, but it’s a disturbing saga and I guess I had some need to distance myself a little, at least to start with.

So, why the big relief? Why did it feel so right at the outset, but – almost immediately – felt so wrong to the extent of putting me ‘out of sorts’ physically and mentally?

Funny. That ‘out of sorts’ expression. That’s exactly the root of the issue right there I think. Years ago I withdrew from all social media – though I am on a photo sharing platform that is simply for that purpose and only that purpose, sharing photos.

You see, I thought (and still think) that social media generally had become a ground for conflict, and the celebration of conflict; it was a ground for corruption, gossip and sensation, for all the worst of the news (I know, the best too). Anyway, you know wht I mean: I’m not alone in giving it all up.

And, yet, here I was, feeling led to reopen that particular social media account. An example, I think, of an ego-driven desire for gain disguising itself as a genuine heart or soul intuition or calling.

I choose not to criticise or comdemn any social media platform. They are what they are. All I can say is that it’s not for me, not my ‘sort of thing’, not my cup of tea as it were. No wonder I was feeling out of sorts!

In my selfish, ego-driven compulsion to ‘increase traffic’ (what a horrible expression), I forgot entirely – as we so often do when blinded by desire – that this blog is seen and read by exactly those who are meant to see and read it – you!

So, I apologise to you for that sudden blindness, and for ignoring the absolute reality that it’s all working out just as it’s supposed to.

Thank you for making that so.

Peace and love
Paul the hermit

The Hermits (and the Lion) Sleep Tonight

Posted on by
Reply

The Lion Sleeps Tonight. That’s the song name I always think of. Sometimes you might hear it called Wimoweh. While it’s the song’s Zulu title, it’s actually not a real word: it references a mishearing (and subsequent recording by a group in the early ’50s) of Uyimube (the original chorus) which is Zulu for you are a lion.

In any case, I feel like I’ve known the song all my life. I suppose I have: it was a smash hit when I was seven or eight years old. It’s been one of those songs that have stuck, become a constant presence, to be hummed occasionally, to be sung even less frequently, heard rarely, but loved and familiar.

Anyway, recently (in March I think) my affection for the song surfaced. I was thinking about something my partner hermit had said about creativity and suddenly the melody to The Lion Sleeps Tonight came into mind.

That melody, and my memory of the lyrics then became integral to the poem I wrote to express some of my thoughts about my partner hermit’s statement. It helped me say what I had to say.

I hope you like it – the song – Listen to the Tokens doing their version from 1961; check out the lyrics too. It’s a happy song, a reassuring song of safety and love.

With that I humbly offer my poem. Enjoy

THE HERMITS SLEEP TONIGHT

A creative way to start the day.
A prayerful way, a prayerful way.

In Samsara’s jungle there is a village, a suburban village.
A prayerful way, a prayerful way.

Near the village – no, in the village
the hermits sleep tonight.
A prayerful way, a prayerful way.

The walled enclosure,
their very own paradise,
like a castle keep,
keeps them safe.
A peaceful way, a peaceful way.

Hush my sisters; hush my brothers.
No need to fear the jungle.
A prayerful way, a prayerful way.

Day breaks; Surya rises.
A prayerful way, a prayerful way.

Sleeping hermits gather, to break the fast.
A prayerful way, a prayerful way.

Fast broken, sacred tea imbibed.
A prayerful way, a prayerful way

The hermits begin, begin their day of prayer.

A creative way to start the day.
A prayerful way, a prayerful way.

What Will Please You Lord? A Prayer Contemplated

Posted on by
Reply

Namaste my friends

In my last post I reflected upon the meaning for me personally of a Bhagavad Gita verse that had particularly struck me as I carried on with my renewed inspiration to read the text from the beginning.

Today, I didn’t even get to the place where my reading left off yesterday. Before reading I like to pray some or all the prayers I have pasted in the front (and the back now). As I was deep into this practice, one prayer in particular stopped me, just as with that verse yesterday.

This one seemed to speak to me, asking ‘What do I mean to you?’ So, I made a mental note (always a risky proposition with me), and carried on with my prayers, determined to take time later to think about that prayer, and try to answer its question. So, here I am, later in the day, making these notes.

The prayer itself I am fairly sure comes from Thomas Merton, monk, mystic, and writer. Not completely sure, but I know that whoever composed it was one clearly inclined towards living the life of the mystic.

What will please you Lord?
Let me grow in wisdom,
become purified,
and do your will.

For whoever composed this prayer, it is an expression of a genuine longing. I can say that for me it is a deep plea, expresses my own longing. Each time I recite it, in fact, I can say that, although this is the first time I’ve addressed the big what does it mean question, I do sense the longing and grasp the meanings of the various words and ideas in the prayer. Actually, now I think about it, I do say this prayer or parts thereof in one form or another very often.

What will please you Lord?

When I begin to pray these words, what I feel I am actually doing is asking the Universe, the Divine, Self, God – the I AM – how can I live my life so that it is attuned to the natural order and flow of the Universe.

I am asking, what do I need to do to let go of attachments to worldly things which arise from material desires? How do I find the grace to accept when things aren’t going completely my way?

In other words, I’m asking how can i live a good, truthful, happy life in harmony with all other beings and with the Universe.

Let me grow in wisdom

Another of my prayer pages. This one devoted to Maa Saraswati, goddess of, among other things, wisdom

A good place to start, a great first step. But, again I have to ask myself, what does growing in wisdom mean to me?

To me wisdom is not merely knowledge. Though, having said that wisdom needs to rest on a firm foundation of knowledge, otherwise what’s there to be ‘wise’ about?

I’m not talking about worldly knowledge here, though obviously it takes some degree of knowledge for any of us to live in the world. Also it’s relevant to the next part of our prayer; we’ll see that soon.

I’m referring instead to a special kind of knowledge that will (I pray) lead me somewhere closer to acquiring some degree of wisdom – one day.

Self-knowledge is what I’m getting at. And I go about my attempt to obtain self-knowledge in a couple of different ways. I study, sacred texts like the Bhagavad Gita, as well as the words of those wiser than me (which is rather a large selection of people I can tell you) both living and historical.

I meditate (not nearly enough!) as a way to enquire into my own ‘real’ or true nature: who am I? what am I? Just digging deep within to reach some realisation of the answers to those questions.

When I have answered those questions, I will understand that I have reached a true level of self-knowledge. I sense that, at least being on the path to that realisation, I would never be able to develop any level of wisdom.

Mind you, I do feel that all humans are born with some degree of wisdom potential ‘built in’ so to say. As for me, I don’t feel especially wise just yet.

Become purified

For me, becoming purified goes hand in hand with the cultivation of wisdom. In fact I would say that in the very efforts to become purified, it might be possible for me to develop some wisdom as a result of those efforts.

So, here we go again: What does it mean? To become purified? For me it means living a Dharmic life. By Dharmic I mean a life steered and driven by Truth, Right Living, Right Speech, Right Conduct , Right … The Buddha taught The Noble Eightfold Path. That is in my opinion the very best, topmost, pinnacle of self directed means to living a Dharmic or purified life.

The Eightfold Path is not a set of dogmas, rules, or anything like a list of commandments or instructions . The eight steps are merely signposts, a roadmap, pointers for me to follow in order to purify my life, live a Dharmic life. No behaviours are prescribed: it’s entirely my choice what forms my behaviour, actions, and the rest take.

Obviously the path to becoming purified is a life-long one, though some would say that many lifetimes are required. Personally, I can’t even hint that I might be anywhere near close; some days I feel further away than ever.

But, as I work towards ‘growing in wisdom, with the help of my becoming purified path, I pray that some day I might actually learn what I call proper discernment.

This discernment is the ability to act in the world and to react to the joys and sorrows that are inevitable, with compassion, love, and wisdom. To face those inevitabilities with calm and equanimity. Acting with proper discernment will mean that I am living in Truth.

… and do your will

As I reread the words I’ve just written, I realise that, by the time I reach the state described in that last paragraph, I will have succeeded in ‘doing your will.
I will have aligned my self perfectly with the order of the Universe. I will know my place as a tiny fragment of that very order.

If I’m honest however, I have to say that I think it’s going to be a very very long time before such a state come to pass. So, what to do in the meantime?

Well, along with my attempts to live Dharmically, and to cultivate wisdom, I have committed myself to a life of devotion. Devotion, prayer, contemplation.

Devotion to what? To whom?

To the Universe, Divinity, God; all that is represented by all those names we humans have put on the Absolute Reality, that is all there is.

Everything. And everybody, is what I’m saying. There really is no separation except a kind of superficial one we allow ourselves to imagine by applying so many names and forms to the material objects, things and so on, that appear to us as separate one from another, whereas there is in fact only one, without a second.

That’s where the contemplation comes in. It’s a going within, inward to what we imagine is a kind of ‘space’ where all merges into one, the one that is all there is.

I think that’s what ‘pleases the Lord’. While I am indescribably, gravely, deficient at all the steps described above, one course I know to be right for me is to continue to engage with those steps, and to devote myself and my life to the Divine, to the Truth.

That’s what pleases me. I pray that it pleases the Lord.

Out Beyond Capricorn: Poetic Offering

Posted on by
Reply

Namaste and greetings

It’s been just over a week now since the new page on the blog went live. I have to say that it’s been very satisfying setting it up, then uploading some of my devotional poems.

Actually, it was while uploading one yesterday that I thought, I’ll feature this one in its own post. I did mention that I would like to continue this occasional practice.

There’s not too much to say about this particular poem really – best to leave it to speak for itself.  I’m only introducing it like this because I wanted to include a Wikipedia link that might help clarity a couple of the terms and some of the details mentioned in the poem.

The poem speaks about the concept of Viakuntha, which as you’ll see is the supreme heaven for some Indian traditions. The link leads to an interesting and short read, well worth the time I think.

The myth of Vaikuntha was a trigger for this poem, as was the meaning of the word itself. Is it a real place? Who knows. Fact and truth don’t always agree, and as for me, I don’t think about the question.

Myth has been the way we humans have always used to tell our story. To try to sort out the big questions: where are we from? Who are we? Where are we going? All the ‘big questions’ are addressed by mythologies from every culture – every family, country, you name it – on Earth.

In any case I think that my poem came about as a result of my own contemplation on the story, on those big questions, on Self really.

I hope you will visit my Poems of Devotion page. I’m still adding poems to the page, and of course, with grace, I will continue to write.

Now, please enjoy reading my poem, and I hope it’s a nice experience for you.

Love and Peace
Paul the hermit

OUT BEYOND CAPRICORN & DEEP WITHIN EACH HEART

Vaikuntha: Without anxiety.
Is there such a place? Free from worry?
Out there, they say, beyond Capricorn.
There’ll you’ll find the highest heaven,
the abode of God.

No need to look to the stars:
Vaikuntha is here. Vaikuntha is now.
Within and without you.

Vaikuntha is indeed beyond;
beyond the material world,
beyond the realm of bodies and minds;
beyond the illusions of places and spaces.
Atma – Universal Consciousness – you and me,
that’s Vaikuntha.
You and me, all there is. No anxiety

It’s Dhal Day Today

Posted on by
Reply

This morning I announced here in the Hermitage to anyone within range, that today, I would be making lentils. No, I thought, I can’t ‘make’ lentils; my job is to cook them so they might become Dhal.  Jokingly to myself I stated by way of correction in my best mentally affirmative voice ‘It’s Dhal day today.’

Dhal is an important staple for us here at the hermitage. Please don’t imagine I’m exaggerating  when I say that we eat it everyday. Actually, come to think of it, it might be just an ever so slight exaggeration.

Very very occasionally we choose some other evening meal, always vegan. But to tell the truth, we all like Dhal so much that we hardly ever feel the need for a change.

Anyway, as I say, it’s one of my relished responsibilities to once a week, or thereabouts, play my part in producing the Dhal that sustains the community for the next week.

Just a little aside: Lest you think Dhal is all we eat, I should mention we eat lots of fruits and vegetables, rice and breads, beans and various other things that come to us one way or another.

Please, the inner editor is begging me, can we just get on with today’s topic? Actually, the topic is the Dhal making that has taken place today. So, really, we are still kind of on track.

Right then. Not long after my announcements to the community and to myself, I got to it,  to the task at hand. First, I pour red lentils into a largish saucepan.

Not my picture. Just to give you an idea of what I saw that prompted my feelings

I watched as the lentils streamed from the packet to form a little mountain, first at the bottom of the saucepan, growing to full saucepan scale. Funny thing to say but I was kind of mesmerized by this mountain building. I was struck by the thought – more like a feeling – this is wonderful, this is important.

I mean to say that I felt a little awestruck by the abundance. In a sort of gratitude induced reverie, I scooped a handful of said lentil mountain, letting lentils stream back to Lentil Mountain in the saucepan.

Then it’s rinsing time. You see, you need to rinse the lentils to get rid of excess starch, bits of dirt,  little stones, or twigs. This is a vital step in the process according to the Dhal Grand Master who taught me this life-sustaining art.

In any case, it’s at this stage that you’re allowed to get your hands right into the mix. Run water, swish the lentils around, drain off now starchy, twiggy, stony water. And repeat five, six, or more times determined by the clarity of the water after each rinse.

I like that bit too actually: kind of pleasant sensation as lentils swirl through fingers and you get experience something of the lentils themselves. Nice feeling.

Next step, fill a giantish sized saucepan (I call it the big pot) with the rinsed lentils, add water (very exacting amounts too, but don’t ask me for precise details), bring to the boil occasionally scooping off any remaining bits and pieces as you watch the alchemy happen.

Then, once boiling, it’s time to stir in various spices. Once again, exact amounts are called for, but, well it’s kind of a trade secret. By which I mean, I couldn’t tell you measurements; one just knows. Could be a cook thing. Or maybe it’s a monk thing?

Enough cooking (sometimes the inner editor doesn’t know when to leave the writer alone).

Okay then.

Gratitude. And wonder. Both experienced today – and not for the first time.

Wonder at & gratitude to Surya (the Sun) which gives and sustains all life, including lentils

Wonder at the aforementioned alchemy that transforms dried, red lentils, a few spices, and water, into a delicious, substantial, healthy and nourishing, food that satisfies and sustains.

Gratitude that I am able to take a small part in this alchemy. Gratitude for the beings who sustain us – me, our community, you, all of us on Earth. Gratitude for the grace I have been granted that actually allows me access to such wonders and abundance.

It’s a lot to be grateful for. All I can add is that it is my deep gratitude that will keep me ‘making lentils’ always.

Don’t Stick Your Feet Out

Posted on by
Reply

Just now (as in earlier today) I had some perfectly natural, normal, and expected thoughts about my prayer life. If I’m to be honest though, and perhaps a tad overly tough on myself, the thoughts I had felt slightly ridiculous given my professed commitment to praying constantly, and my supposed understanding of the meaning and function of prayer.  In other words, there I was again: putting some kind of unrealistic expectations on myself – again!

Anyway, enough of that. To sum up those thoughts: I was thinking they – my prayers – aren’t working. Nothing is happening. And I was asking myself questions: What’s been achieved? What’s coming from all the effort? Where are the results?

And then, exactly at the moment I was writing down those thoughts and questions, I lifted my eyes from my notebook to see my partner-hermit approaching.

‘It’s my blessing at the moment,’ she said walking by my chair.

Why did she say that?

Because, right there before my eyes was evidence that none of my ridiculous thoughts and questions on my prayer life, had any meaning whatsoever. There was the answer, walking past me.

As I said, right there before my eyes.